Wednesday Wordplay: from Ashe to Updike

 

henry winkler as the fonz - happy days Assumptions are the termites of relationships.
            — Henry Winkler
 
     
  The arts must be considered an essential element of education… They are tools for living life reflectively, joyfully and with the ability to shape the future.
            — Shirley Trusty Corey
 
     
  Success is a journey, not a destination. The doing is often more important than the outcome.
            — Arthur Ashe
arthur ashe postage stamp
     
  I simply cannot understand the passion that some people have for making themselves thoroughly uncomfortable and then boasting about it afterwards.
            — Patricia Moyes
 
     
Georgia O'Keefe I said to myself, I have things in my head that are not like what anyone has taught me – shapes and ideas so near to me – so natural to my way of being and thinking that it hasn’t occurred to me to put them down. I decided to start anew, to strip away what I had been taught.
            — Georgia O’Keeffe
 
     
  Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work.
            — Thomas A. Edison
 
     
  Success is a lousy teacher. It seduces smart people into thinking they can’t lose.
            — Bill Gates
young Bill Gates
     
  Far and away the best prize that life offers is the chance to work hard at work worth doing.
            — Theodore Roosevelt, September 1913
 
     
John Updike Dreams come true. Without that possibility, nature would not incite us to have them.
            — John Updike
 
     
  If you’re never scared or embarrassed or hurt, it means you never take any chances.
            — Julia Sorel
 
     
  If you have made mistakes, even serious ones, there is always another chance for you. What we call failure is not the falling down but the staying down.
            — Mary Pickford
Mary Pickford actress
     
  I like coincidences. They make me wonder about destiny, and whether free will is an illusion or just a matter of perspective. They let me speculate on the idea of some master plan that, from time to time, we’re allowed to see out of the corner of our eye.
            — Chuck Sigars, September 8, 2003
 
     
David Shore House MD Only two things you ignore: things that aren’t important and things you wish weren’t important, and wishing never works.
            — David Shore, House M.D., Not Cancer, 2008
 
     

 

Urban Dictionary

 

Audience Typing

When a person’s typing abilities degrade when they must type in front of others, leading to misspelled words, improper capitalisation and most likely resulting in blushing.  Worse if that other person is an older relative or someone you respect.

Father asks, "Put Manchester United into Google there for me"
Son, "Sure"
Results in – "Manchetser UNited" being typed into Google.

        
        

Wednesday Wordplay – Oprah and South Park

Inspirational Quotes

It is not the strongest of the species that survives, nor the most intelligent, but the one most responsive to change.
            — Charles Darwin

We cannot really love anybody with whom we never laugh.
            — Agnes Repplier, Americans and Others, 1912

I love life…Yeah, I’m sad, but at the same time, I’m really happy that something could make me feel that sad. It’s like…It makes me feel alive, you know. It makes me feel human. The only way I could feel this sad now is if I felt something really good before. So I have to take the bad with the good. So I guess what I’m feeling is like a beautiful sadness.
            — Trey Parker and Matt Stone, South Park, Raisins, 2003

There’s no easy way out. If there were, I would have bought it. And believe me, it would be one of my favorite things!
            — Oprah Winfrey, O Magazine, February 2005

People who are ‘ready’ give off a different vibe than people who aren’t. Animals can smell fear; maybe that’s it. The minute you become ready is the the minute you stop dreaming. Suddenly it’s no longer about ‘becoming’. Suddenly it’s about ‘doing’.
            — Hugh Macleod, How To Be Creative

The moment we begin to fear the opinions of others and hesitate to tell the truth that is in us, and from motives of policy are silent when we should speak, the divine floods of light and life no longer flow into our souls.
            — Elizabeth Cady Stanton, 1890

If you would be wealthy, think of saving as well as getting.
            — Benjamin Franklin

God doesn’t require us to succeed; he only requires that you try.
            — Mother Teresa

To fulfill a dream, to be allowed to sweat over lonely labor, to be given the chance to create, is the meat and potatoes of life. The money is the gravy. As everyone else, I love to dunk my crust in it. But alone, it is not a diet designed to keep body and soul together.
            — Bette Davis, The Lonely Life, 1962

If you would be pungent, be brief; for it is with words as with sunbeams – the more they are condensed, the deeper they burn.
            — Robert Southey

If you limit your choices only to what seems possible or reasonable, you disconnect yourself from what you truly want, and all that is left is a compromise.
            — Robert Fritz

 

 

Urban Dictionary

Aside: Working at Northwestern University, I know all about this phenomenon. 

college morning

(noun) 1. Afternoon.

College Student A: "I don’t have the money right now, can I pay you back tomorrow?"
College Student B: "Sure, just come by tomorrow morning."
College Student A: "Okay!"
THE NEXT DAY, 9 AM
College Student A: "Hey, I have your money!"
College Student B: (waking up) "Goddamn it, I meant COLLEGE MORNING."

Wednesday Wordplay – Bette Davis and toilet mummies

Lots of intuitive quotes this week, including ones from Bette Davis, Victor Hugo, Mother Teresa and Mahatma Gandhi.  And a funny quote from Edith Sitwell. Enjoy.


[Mostly] Inspirational Quotes

There are new words now that excuse everybody. Give me the good old days of heroes and villains. the people you can bravo or hiss. There was a truth to them that all the slick credulity of today cannot touch.
            — Bette Davis, The Lonely Life, 1962

I have often wished I had time to cultivate modesty… But I am too busy thinking about myself.
            — Edith Sitwell, As quoted in The Observer (30 April 1950)

Good habits result from resisting temptation.
            — Ancient Proverb

An ounce of loyalty is worth a pound of cleverness.
            — Elbert Hubbard

There is always more misery among the lower classes than there is humanity in the higher.
            — Victor Hugo, ‘Les Miserables,’ 1862

Joy is prayer – Joy is strength – Joy is love – Joy is a net of love by which you can catch souls.
            — Mother Teresa

You can’t turn back the clock. But you can wind it up again.
            — Bonnie Prudden

Honest differences are often a healthy sign of progress.
            — Mahatma Gandhi

Don’t gamble; take all your savings and buy some good stock and hold it till it goes up, then sell it. If it don’t go up, don’t buy it.
            — Will Rogers

If I have learnt anything, it is that life forms no logical patterns. It is haphazard and full of beauties which I try to catch as they fly by, for who knows whether any of them will ever return?
            — Margot Fonteyn

It’s not your painting anymore. It stopped being your painting the moment that you finished it.
            — Jeff Melvoin, Northern Exposure, Fish Story, 1994

Real, constructive mental power lies in the creative thought that shapes your destiny, and your hour-by-hour mental conduct produces power for change in your life. Develop a train of thought on which to ride. The nobility of your life as well as your happiness depends upon the direction in which that train of thought is going.
            — Laurence J. Peter

It is a sadness of growing older that we lose our ardent appreciation of what is new and different and difficult.
            — Elizabeth Aston, The Exploits & Adventures of Miss Alethea Darcy, 2005

Just because you are blind, and unable to see my beauty doesn’t mean it does not exist.
            — Margaret Cho, Margaret Cho’s weblog, 03-23-06

Consult your friend on all things, especially on those which respect yourself. His counsel may then be useful where your own self-love might impair your judgment.
            — Seneca

Never chase a lie. Let it alone, and it will run itself to death.
            — Lyman Beecher

Do not listen to those who weep and complain, for their disease is contagious.
            — Og Mandino

I feel good about taking things to Goodwill and actually, I do like shopping at Goodwill. It’s so cheap that it feels like a library where I am just checking things out for awhile until I decide to take them back.
            — April Foiles

Nobody can give you freedom. Nobody can give you equality or justice or anything. If you’re a man, you take it.
            — Malcolm X, Malcolm X Speaks, 1965

We are rich only through what we give, and poor only through what we refuse.
            — Anne-Sophie Swetchine

Oh for a book and a shady nook…
            — John Wilson

The ornament of a house is the friends who frequent it.
            — Ralph Waldo Emerson

Whenever evil befalls us, we ought to ask ourselves, after the first suffering, how we can turn it into good. So shall we take occasion, from one bitter root, to raise perhaps many flowers.
            — Leigh Hunt

I have never been especially impressed by the heroics of people who are convinced they are about to change the world. I am more awed by those who struggle to make one small difference after another.
            — Ellen Goodman

 


 

Urban Dictionary

 

Toilet Mummy

When someone is so concerned about toilet seat germs, they cover the seat with half a roll of toilet paper, leaving it to appear like it has been mummified.

"I was going to use that stall to drop a deuce, but somebody left it looking like a toilet mummy."

Recrap

To sum up a discussion composed largely of useless bullshit.

Person 1: "Tell me how the staff meeting went."
Person 2: "Allow me to recrap…"

Wednesday Wordplay – Gogh and Cho

Motivational Quotes

I am not an adventurer by choice but by fate.
            — Vincent van Gogh

When people think the world of you, be careful with them.
            — Margaret Cho, Margaret Cho Blog, 09-26-05

Not a shred of evidence exists in favor of the idea that life is serious.
            — Brendan Gill

The highest result of education is tolerance.
            — Helen Keller, Optimism,’ 1903

I define comfort as self-acceptance. When we finally learn that self-care begins and ends with ourselves, we no longer demand sustenance and happiness from others.
            — Jennifer Louden

Don’t bother just to be better than your contemporaries or predecessors. Try to be better than yourself.
            — William Faulkner

Whoever does not love his work cannot hope that it will please others.
            — Unknown

Conceal a flaw, and the world will imagine the worst.
            — Marcus Valerius Martialis

Words are a heavy thing…they weigh you down.  If birds talked, they couldn’t fly.
            — Sy Rosen and Christian Williams, Northern Exposure, On Your Own, 1992

Part of understanding the creative urge is understanding that it’s primal. Wanting to change the world is not a noble calling, it’s a primal calling.
            — Hugh Macleod, How To Be Creative: 17, 08-22-04

The face is the mirror of the mind, and eyes without speaking confess the secrets of the heart.
            — Saint Jerome

You cannot escape the responsibility of tomorrow by evading it today.
            — Abraham Lincoln

I like coincidences. They make me wonder about destiny, and whether free will is an illusion or just a matter of perspective. They let me speculate on the idea of some master plan that, from time to time, we’re allowed to see out of the corner of our eye.
            — Chuck Sigars, The World According to Chuck weblog, September 8, 2003

 


Urban Dictionary

 

stealth abs

When your ripped six pack is covered by a thick layer of fat.

This isn’t a beer belly, it’s my stealth abs. I just needed to avoid attracting too many ladies with my well defined stomach.

mirror scare

the specific scene in a movie where a person is scared by something seen in the mirror. (see video below)

Wednesday Wordplay – Buddha and the South Park chef

Motivational Quotes

Too many people think only of their own profit. But business opportunity seldom knocks on the door of self-centered people. No customer ever goes to a store merely to please the storekeeper.
            — Kazuo Inamori 

The most decisive actions of our life – I mean those that are most likely to decide the whole course of our future – are, more often than not, unconsidered.
        — Andre Gide 

I have always found that mercy bears richer fruits than strict justice.
        — Abraham Lincoln , speech in Washington D.C., 1865

A strong positive mental attitude will create more miracles than any wonder drug.
            — Patricia Neal 

I am convinced that life in a physical body is meant to be an ecstatic experience.
            — Shakti Gawain 

You must not come lightly to the blank page.
            — Stephen King, On Writing: A Memoir of the Craft, 2000

As a well-spent day brings happy sleep, so life well used brings happy death.
            — Leonardo da Vinci 

Nobody sees a flower – really – it is so small it takes time – we haven’t time – and to see takes time, like to have a friend takes time.
            — Georgia O’Keeffe

Resentment is like drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die.
            — Carrie Fisher 

The thing that is really hard, and really amazing, is giving up on being perfect and beginning the work of becoming yourself.
 
           — Anna Quindlen 

Love isn’t a decision. It’s a feeling. If we could decide who we loved, it would be much simpler, but much less magical.
            — Trey Parker and Matt Stone , South Park, Chef Aid, 1998

We would worry less about what others think of us if we realized how seldom they do.
            — Ethel Barrett 

If you ask what is the single most important key to longevity, I would have to say it is avoiding worry, stress and tension. And if you didn’t ask me, I’d still have to say it.
            — George Burns

Trees were so rare in that country, and they had to make such a hard fight to grow, that we used to feel anxious about them, and visit them as if they were persons. It must have been the scarcity of detail in that tawny landscape that made detail so precious.
            — Willa Cather, My Antonia

Better to get up late and be wide awake than to get up early and be asleep all day.
            — Anonymous

There are no secrets to success. It is the result of preparation, hard work, and learning from failure.
            — Colin Powell

No one is useless in this world who lightens the burdens of another.
            — Charles Dickens

Before you do anything, think. If you do something to try and impress someone, to be loved, accepted or even to get someone’s attention, stop and think. So many people are busy trying to create an image, they die in the process.
            — Salma Hayek

Holding onto anger is like grasping onto a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else. You are the one who gets burned.
            — Gautama Buddha


 

Urban Dictionary

Professional Student

Person who receives multiple degrees and keeps taking courses instead of holding a profession related to the degrees earned. Can be a compliment or an insult depending on the speaker.

Ex. 1: a compliment
“Man, I think you’re so cool for writing a dissertation on Mesoamerican maize fertilization. You’re a real professional student!”
Ex.2 an insult:
“Hey Jack, won’t you get a real job and quit being a professional student?”

Jack-Off all trades

A person who does not use profession as criteria for choosing sexual partners

– How’d you swing that? I thought Jane only fucked above a certain income bracket.
Naa man, she’s a jack off all trades


Word of the week

Phantasmagoria (noun)
[fan-taz’-mah-GORE-ee-ah]

1. a dreamlike state where real and imagined elements are blurred together: “She has finally emerged from the drug-induced phantasmagoria of the last decade.”
2. a series of events involving rapid changes in light intensity and color
3. fantastic imagery, especially as represented in art
adjective form: phantasmagoric
adverb form: phantasmagorically


Origin:
Approximately 1802; name of a magic lantern exhibition brought to London in 1802 by Philipstal; alteration of French, ‘phantasmagorie’: art of creating supernatural illusions, from ‘fantasme’; from Greek, ‘phainein’: bring to light.

In action:
“…life is moral responsibility. Life is several other things, we do not deny. It is beauty, it is joy, it is tragedy, it is comedy, it is psychical and physical pleasure, it is the interplay of a thousand rude or delicate motions and emotions, it is the grimmest and the merriest motley of phantasmagoria that could appeal to the gravest or the maddest brush ever put to palette; but it is steadily and sturdily and always moral responsibility.”
Elizabeth Stuart Phelps (1844-1911). U.S. novelist and short story writer. Chapters from a Life (1897).

Wednesday Wordplay: redneck teleprompter and the death of a language

Boa Sr remained the last Bo speaker for at least 30 years The last speaker of an ancient language in India’s Andaman Islands has died at the age of about 85, say linguists.

The death of the woman, Boa Senior, was highly significant because one of the world’s oldest languages, Bo, had come to an end.  Boa Sr remained the last Bo speaker for at least 30 years.  Read entire story HERE.

 

If you find this fascinating, check out this article. Kind of sad really.


 

Inspirational Quotes

 

When I’m not doing something that comes deeply from me, I get bored. When I get bored I get distracted and when I get distracted, I become depressed. It’s a natural resistance, and it insures your integrity.
            — Maria Irene Fornes

The best index to a person’s character is
(a) how he treats people who can’t do him any good, and
(b) how he treats people who can’t fight back.
            — Abigail van Buren

And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.
            — Marianne Williamson, "A Return to Love," 1992

Do not think of knocking out another person’s brains because he differs in opinion from you. It would be as rational to knock yourself on the head because you differ from yourself ten years ago.
            — Horace Mann

I came to realize that life lived to help others is the only one that matters and that it is my duty…This is my highest and best use as a human.
            — Ben Stein, E! Online, 12-20-03

Treat your friends as you do your pictures, and place them in their best light.
            — Jennie Jerome Churchill

Privacy and security are those things you give up when you show the world what makes you extraordinary.
            — Margaret Cho, Margaret Cho’s Weblog, 07-05-04

Aim at the sun, and you may not reach it; but your arrow will fly far higher than if aimed at an object on a level with yourself.
            — Joel Hawes

As long as you derive inner help and comfort from anything, keep it.
            — Mahatma Gandhi

Complaining is good for you as long as you’re not complaining to the person you’re complaining about.
 
          — Lynn Johnston, For Better or For Worse, 11-06-03

Use what talents you possess: the woods would be very silent if no birds sang there except those that sang best.
            — Henry Van Dyke

….you are in control of your life. Don’t ever forget that. You are what you are because of the conscious and subconscious choices you have made.
            — Barbara Hall, A Summons to New Orleans, 2000

Luck is the residue of design.
            — Branch Rickey, Lecture title, 1950

I like the night. Without the dark, we’d never see the stars.
            — Stephenie Meyer, Twilight, 2005

 

Urban Dictionary

 

Redneck Teleprompter

Crib notes written on a public speaker’s hand in order to remind him or her what to say during a speech or interview.

Sarah Palin glanced at her redneck teleprompter during her interview a the Tea Party Conference in Nashville.

 

It’s complicated

One of the options for "Relationship Status" on Facebook. Refers to a couple in an ambiguous state between "friends" and "in a relationship". May also be used to indicate dissatisfaction with an existing relationship.

LCD Trip

When you watch too much football on your LCD big-screen. Can apply to other sports or programming in which you sit, staring at it for hours. Known to have negative effects on you health.

Joe Sixpack gets an LCD Trip every night watching ESPN.
We totally LCD Tripped during last year’s Superbowl.

Wednesday Wordplay – Warhol, Freud and Facebook crushes

Inspirational Quotes

I was always looking outside myself for strength and confidence, but it comes from within. It is there all the time.
            — Anna Freud

When we are unable to find tranquility within ourselves, it is useless to seek it elsewhere.
            — Francois de La Rochefoucauld

A dog is the greatest gift a parent can give a child. OK, a good education, then a dog.
            — John Grogan, An Interview with John Grogan, 2008

Stress is an ignorant state. It believes that everything is an emergency. Nothing is that important. 
        — Natalie Goldberg

We have, I fear, confused power with greatness.
        — Stewart L. Udall, commencement address, Dartmouth College, June 13, 1965

A person has three choices in life. You can swim against the tide and get exhausted, or you can tread water and let the tide sweep you away, or you can swim with the tide, and let it take you where it wants you to go.
        — Diane Frolov and Andrew Schneider, Northern Exposure, Northern Lights, 1993

Imagination is the beginning of creation. You imagine what you desire, you will what you imagine and at last you create what you will.
        — George Bernard Shaw

They always say time changes things, but you actually have to change them yourself.
        — Andy Warhol, “The Philosophy of Andy Warhol

The world is full of women blindsided by the unceasing demands of motherhood, still flabbergasted by how a job can be terrific and torturous.
        — Anna Quindlen, O Magazine, May 2003

I like manual labor. Whenever I’ve got waterlogged with study, I’ve taken a spell of it and found it spiritually invigorating.
        — W. Somerset Maugham, “The Razor’s Edge”, 1943


Urban Dictionary

 

time vampire

Something or someone who literally sucks your time like a vampire sucks blood.

My computer broke again, I spent all night working on that fucking time vampire.

 

text-hole

Someone who texts on their cellphone in really inappropriate places, like movie theatres, concerts, plays, or during sex.

1. The movie was great, except right during the best scene, this text-hole in front of me lit up his phone and started texting away.
2. We were humping away, and she started texting her friend. She was a certified text-hole.

 

Leno Giver

When someone retires from a legendary television franchise, passes the torch to a worthy successor. Then he gets bored and starts a new show which sucks and then asks for their old job back by firing the successor.

He’s a leno giver.

 

Facebook crush

A crush on a FB friend is characterized by the unexplainable urge to revisit the friend’s Photos tab repeatedly and checking to see if other friends have written new messages on their Wall. Usually afflicts users who are only somewhat acquainted.

"I’ve got a Facebook crush on a guy I was going to rent a room from, but in the end we just friended each other."

 

friendly review

A positive review you give to a movie, book, TV series or CD that you don’t like but which a friend has recommended to you, usually because you don’t want to hurt their feelings.

Rod: I watched that movie The Departed last night which John lent me.
Tom: What did you think?
Rod: I hated it.
Tom: Oh boy, he loves that movie. What did you tell him?
Rod: I told him it was great.
Tom: You gave it a friendly review, huh?
Rod: Yeah, you know what hes like.